I have not posted until now because this is just... so.... devastating. Tiffani was almost a "second mom" and best friend to me since we were 13. There are no words to quantify it, to communicate appropriately the depth of loss of what a shining light has been lost to the world, to all of us. I've gone through various stages of loss up until this moment, when I am spilling my feelings here on this page..... laughter seems to help, but also crying to beautiful music that reminds me of her... singing through tears, playing the piano I sometimes stop and cry, then play the rest of the piece. I have been ok, ok, ok, NOT ok so many times... life goes on, but it doesn't feel right that I move on with my life and NOT think of her, not feel the sadness, but I must. I have to be there for my kids, I have to just do life. She would want me to. But I also want to honor those moments when I feel her presence with me, and see her smile, hear her words in my mind, and remember her. It's still a shock each time I realize she's gone.
Because sometimes it's helpful to laugh at my own musical expression of my sadness.....(sung to the tune of Oh Christmas tree):
Oh Tiffani... Oh Tiffani, how is it you have left us (2x's)
Your smile it always shined so bright, your words they comfort me tonight,
Oh Tiffani, Oh Tiffani... How is it you have left us?
A regal quality you had, poise, grace and kindness, miss you bad
Oh Tiffani Oh Tiffani, how is it you have left us?
To Tiffani - There really isn't anyone who matches up to your generous, kind, funny, witty, talented, gorgeous, wise, reassuring, and amazing self.... You were such, SUCH a friend... You never had me question your love or devotion to me, not once. Now that you're not here...I just don't know what I'll do. What happens when someone you have known for 28 years just disappears? I can hear your voice still... And your singing resonates in my soul...I've just always gone through life knowing you had my back and whenever I needed to call you, you'd be there... And now you're not...... Is 2020 over yet?
