Traditionally, we relied on religion to provide a playbook for commemorating loved ones. Today, we often borrow from other cultures and religions. Some of the gatherings you may want to consider:
As the one-year anniversary of a loved one’s passing approaches, you may want to commemorate the date with a gathering. Some religions mark the one-year anniversary with the unveiling of the grave, the spreading of ashes, or even a celebration that would be meaningful to the deceased. This milestone offers an opportunity to get creative and plan an event that’s personally meaningful to you.
Here are some creative ways to bring everyone together:
Meaningful Places
Visit a place that was important or special to your loved one, or a place they wanted to go. You could make it an all-weekend getaway, a “destination memorial.” Do a yoga retreat in the Colorado mountains or a beach resort. Or take a hike to that bend in the river that they loved so much. Such a getaway by no means has to be all about the deceased, but could provide some meaningful opportunities to share memories, walk paths they once took, or reaffirm your loved one’s place in your community members’ hearts.
Events with Purpose
Get your family and friends moving with an annual walk-a-thon to raise money for a cause your loved one cared about. Create a team and invite everyone to sign up for a walk-a-thon for a personally meaningful charity. After the walk or run, finish with a ceremony or meal. Many organizations have tools to help get the word out (like banners and signs), but even on a lean budget, a fundraiser can extend the purpose and commitments of your loved one for years to come.
The circumstances of a loved one’s passing sometimes means people don’t know what to say to memorialize them. Physical activities, such as a volunteer work day or tree planting give everyone something to do and a way to bond that doesn’t require words or speeches, yet adds clear meaning and purpose. The physical exertion also helps us process the energy and emotions of the day.
Consider raising money for a memorial bench or engraved stone in a park, or plant a tree. Or finish a project they were working on, like a house they were building or an art project.
Ashes Ceremonies
You may be wondering what to do with the cremation ashes. Consider dispersing them at sea or plant in a reef or tree. A simple ceremony of spreading ashes with loved ones offers a chance to remember the good times, and to make sacred a specific place, giving everyone a location for mourning and remembering. Nowadays you can spread the ashes in meaningful places like by the roots of a redwood tree with Better Place forests or Let Your Love Grow kit in your backyard, or in a renewing coral reef with Eternal Reefs. You can go even further by sending your ashes to space with Celestis Memorial Flights.
Estate giveaway or sale
Often times, the immediate family doesn’t have the space to keep all of their loved one’s belongings, or doesn’t want to keep them all, yet those things have meaning and we don’t want to throw them all away. Consider inviting the larger community to sort through the person’s belongings, and keep what they want. You can make this into an actual “estate sale” and use the proceeds to pay for funeral expenses or donate to a cause that was meaningful to your loved one.
Whatever you do to memorialize your loved one, you can make it special and meaningful, and even fun. Here are some other activities to consider having at whatever event you plan:
Find more articles on working through grief here.
