Esther was a kind, generous spirit, who loved us (their parents) and their entire family, especially sister Rachel, aunt Rebecca, grandpa George, grandma Susan and grandpa John. Beloved dog, Sparky, and cat, Moonlight, held special places in Esther's heart, as well. In fact, Esther was the one who urged us to get a dog.
They were strong, smart, creative and sensitive. At Pressman Academy (1-8th grades, graduated 2019), they sang in Shir Pressman and performed in many Middle School musicals, including Annie and the Wizard of Oz. They enjoyed creative writing and science, and were proud to have their science project selected for the California Science Fair. They also danced with Sophie Dance and competed with Sophie B’s dance team in Hip Hop.
Milken Community High School welcomed Esther in 9th grade into Beit Midrash and they joined the Milken Dance Company. They enjoyed classes in History, creative writing, and English, sang in Kol Echad and Milken Honeys, helped out with Fiddler on the Roof (before it closed due to Covid) and performed in She Kills Monsters (filming in their room) as an evil twin cheerleader, playing two parts.
They were part of the creative writing class that put together the literary journal and worked on poetry; several of Esther’s poems appeared in Milken’s Literary Journal and were submitted to Scholastic; one earned honorable mention.
Esther Iris studied piano and music theory with their dad, taught themselves guitar and took guitar lessons at Guitar Center. Esther played acoustic and electric guitar and ukulele and wrote songs. Their favorite artists were Taylor Swift (who we saw in concert at the Rose Bowl), the Beatles, and My Chemical Romance.
Esther Iris had many friends and kept in touch with Camp Ramah friends from years spent at Ramah Ojai and Ramah NorCal. They loved surfing, skateboarding, gymnastics, watercolor painting and dressing-up. They collected crystals, made jewelry, decorated their clothing and their room, sewed (wanting to be a fashion designer when they were younger), and loved nail polish.
Esther baked amazing cakes, enjoyed matcha tea, and avocado toast with lemon, olive oil and salt – and iced vanilla lattes.
With no personal history of mental illness or disability, but with some depression and anxiety running in the family, Esther broke down crying in mid-March 2021, after the play She Kills Monsters screened at a drive-in. They said they couldn’t “do school anymore.” We worked with Milken to tailor down their work load to a bare minimum for five honors classes. Each semester at Milken Esther wanted to take 9 classes and seemed to thrive on busyness, but now the mental exhaustion was overwhelming and demanded attention. They began seeing a therapist and saw some improvement during the summer.
Fall of 2021, they took a much reduced load with no extra-curriculars at Milken; they saw their therapist and began medication, but suicidal ideation increased. In late September, they began full-time day treatment at a PHP (partial hospitalization program) ROWI in Encino, which seemed to help. They transitioned to a part-time IOP program that met in the afternoons at ROWI and decided to start Fairfax High School. They had been there two days when the stress of being in a new environment, driving across town to attend IOP in the afternoon, and struggling to come to terms with who they were and how they could exist in the world which coming out of this suicidal period collided in a sudden overwhelming urge to take their life.
Esther Iris will be forever in our hearts, minds and souls. We remember and speak of Esther Iris z”l constantly. We love them beyond words and will remember their gentle smile, warm laugh, twinkling eyes and footsteps around the house forever. They plopped their backpack down on the dining room table when they came home from school and opened the fridge to get a snack. They cuddled with their dog Sparky every morning in bed. They said “Thank you” in a way that made you feel they meant it. They were genuine, brave and full of intentionality and authenticity.
We only wish we could have protected them from this moment of action and dire consequences … we love you always, Esther Iris Blum.
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