Rosemary Anne Alexander (Alexander-Webber) Derbyshire. Florence, Ro, Tokyo Drift, our beloved 'Bunny'. She filled our lives with light and kindness. For the three of us she was our best friend, our fiercest champion, our gentlest confidant. She was our working week and our noonday rest. We are bereft but we want to honour her life the way she lived it - with kindness and joy and grace; so here we will keep our promise to her and celebrate all the love she brought to those who knew her.
For those of you who suffered through this the first time when our dad died, there is comfort at the thought of them back together - cheeks warm from a slightly too long day in the sun, wine cracked open, cheese and crackers at the table, Ro grinning from whatever joke Frank's relaying, pretending to be shocked at all the 4 letter words, planning the next day's tough schedule of the beach and then tennis.
Born in 1950 to Mary Isabella and Horace George, the middle child of the magnificent seven, family was always paramount. I am certain there were arguments and disagreements and silly sibling spats but to hear her tell it, it was perfect. She had incredible, loving parents; our grandfather passed away before we were even a prospect but his warmth lived on in her stories and Gran was a force that impacted our lives long after she died (it was her own model of strength and resilience that got Ro through Frank's death). And her sister and 5 brothers - Judy, John, Lyall, Chris, Ant, and Will - well, frankly I don't know what to say. She loved you so completely; you could do no wrong - we heard about every victory and every sadness - all of your children's successes have been relayed with pride and every foe added to a list (because no one Fs with Ro's babies). After 30+ years in the US, England was still home because the 6 of you are home. If there's been a place of comfort these past days, it's remembering the gatherings at Wested - I can still feel the texture of the kitchen table from my running my fingers across the knots while listening to you all banter late into the night.
After the high school equivalent she attended acting college for a year, though we’ve never had the pleasure of seeing her on stage. She decided she didn’t have the commitment for it, and in one of my favorite stories, found herself choosing between joining a kibbutz or taking a course in computer programming. She ended up with the latter, and given the incredible logic circuits in her brain, it was probably the right choice. A kibbutz sounds like an adventure though. Last year, with unemployment systems crashing around the US she threw her hat in the ring—they needed programmers in one of her languages. She just wanted to help.
She met Frank in 1970 at a party in London. She accidentally arranged for their first date to be on her birthday. Her father died soon after they met and a friend has told us that he immediately changed to looking after and helping her. They married in 1971. They spent the next twenty years moving from place to place, chasing a new adventure. Settling in Kentucky was more happenstance than anything- Frank loved his job and my mom had been unsettled by one of us saying we didn’t want to go on vacation because it meant moving afterward. And here we ended up.
What do you say about someone so amazing? How do you put it into words? She deserves books over paragraphs. I’m not sure our hearts are up to books at the moment.
It turns out writing this sort of thing is rather tough but we'll add to it over the next several days as we find the words. Otherwise, please don't hesitate to share whatever memory or thought you may want to