Always introspective, a letter writer and a journal writer, Shirley began to talk about Faribault, MN and her 19 years of growing up there. She spoke of her parents, Lillian and Marvin, about being the oldest child of five during the Great Depression. She spoke of lessons in patience, resilience, of her Roman Catholic girlhood, and of the deep love surrounding her. She never forgot her roots in faith and in place.
Meeting the Cross family through her best friend, Janet, Shirley was introduced to a different, more intellectual, more active lifestyle. She joined the Girl Scouts. She played in the school band and acted in school plays, Dressed in her mother's elegant homemade gowns, she was Queen of Prom two years in a row! Busy times as the Great Depression wore on.
Encouraged by the Cross family and other teachers, she began to plan for not only a high school diploma but to go to the University of Minnesota. Through working in the school district library, rebinding text books, or picking boxes of strawberries or de-tasseling corn or taking Faribault's census, riding her bicycle one hot summer, she earned money to share in the Foss household and to go to University. Shirley kept on learning and growing. Stretching her wings, she exemplified the old saying: Parents give roots and wings.
And Shirley said, "I always felt guilty about leaving my family and Faribault. No one had ever done that before. I was alone."
Shirley made her goal and did go to the University of Minnesota where she studied hard, lived in a boarding house, worked in all sorts of campus jobs including box office and as lead actress in the UM's theater. That training helped to prepare her for her teaching career and for her years in the Foreign Service.
And, Shirley met Janet's cousin from Peking, China, Charles T. Cross.
"I knew I wanted to stay with Chuck and I knew I wanted to keep learning and to see the world." And so she did.
In the Foreign Service, Chuck and Shirley Cross lived in eleven assignments: Taiwan, Indonesia, Hong Kong, Alexandria, Egypt, State Dept. in D.C., Cyprus, London, U.K., Singapore, CTC in Viet Nam, Hong Kong, Taiwan.
Both abroad and in the US, Shirley was enthusiastic and hard working, teaching in adult literacy and language, exploring new cultures, art, and archaeology, and showing generous hospitality. Over the decades, she actively belonged to American Women's Associations in Hong Kong and Singapore, the YWCA in Taiwan, the Indonesian International Women's Club, the Seattle Sunset Club, and as member of the American Association of Foreign Service women from l963 until she retired in 1981. Together with Chuck, she served in the Foreign Service for over three decades.
In retirement (1981-2020), Shirley continued to teach and to write, to learn about her communities in both Seattle and in Bellingham. She and Chuck made 3 teaching voyages on the Semester at Sea program, spanning the planet. Over 35 years, she made dear friends with her neighbors, in her church, within her writing community. With her son Richard's Seattle family, there were times with grandchildren, babysitting, holiday feasts, long walks and talks. Annual summer times with Ann and Kathy's children helped to form the family story. Visits with families and friends anchored Shirley.
Setting up her 47th household at Spring Creek "assisted living" in Bellingham, she settled into a quieter phase. Family and friends visited her and she always welcomed them. With residents, staff, and visitors, Shirley shared her stories of teaching and listened to others tell their own tales. Remembering mid-western childhoods was a common theme. Ice cream sundaes, laughter, and shared compassion over aging, brought people together---a Shirley gift. Always interested in other people and feeling gratitude for the world around her, brought Shirley to her full self.
For Shirley, family was a constant, deep, and full thread in her life. She and Chuck wanted a family, wanted to raise a family in love which in turn would serve the community and the world. They shared this passion with more than Ann, Kathy, and Richard.
Friends of her children, of her grandchildren and their parents would visit with her. Many people called Shirley "Grammi" as she listened, made flower arrangements, served meals night and day, offered brownies, ice cream and the ubiquitous oatmeal cookies, told stories of her past, and always paid gracious attention to those around her.
Near the end of her life, Grammi made these clear statements to share with us:
I've always wanted to love and to be loved...Now Chuck's and my dream really happened....There is a whole family, gathered around me here...cottages with children, grandchildren, great grandchildren...who knew it would be in Bellingham from Faribault? I am so happy. They are good. I like them all."
And, we love you dearly. Thank you for being with us for so long and so faithfully.
Loading ...
