Posted On May 25, 2022
Transcript of Releasing of the Ashes
Because it was difficult to hear with the wind, below is what I said as I released the ashes, which seemed to spin and dance in the wind, illuminated by sunlight as they merged with the water.
The ceremony was held on Solomons Island, MD, in the Chesapeake Bay, where the fresh water from the Patuxent River joins the saltwater of the Atlantic Ocean.
I created a portrait of my dad in charcoal (made of ash) to symbolize his loving presence rising up from the ashes and living on with us.
We are praying for cleansing and release for Bill Basham’s ashes. We ask that his soul be cleansed and purified of the suffering he endured through his illness at the end of his life, and may he be reunited with his mother, Dee, and uplifted by all of the other beautiful, unseen beings who are with us, guiding us, inside us; we’re made up of them; we’re a continuation of them. We release you to nature, which you loved so much, to the water where you used to sail with your father. We all love you, and we carry you inside of us. I would like to share a beautiful poem written by my dear friend, Claudette Jocelyn Stern, which helped me as I was struggling with this process:
We are each vessels
Emptying, filling, again
And the heart persists
Thank you for all of the blessings, gifts, laughs, and songs you have gifted us with. We let you go peacefully back to nature. Everyone can take flowers (and a pinecone I found on the shore, which I always used to show him when I was little) to release some sweetness and beauty into the water.
As we were leaving, I saw a single strawberry in a flowerpot hanging on the dock, which reminded me of a Zen parable my dad used to tell. “
“A man was being chased by a tiger to the edge of a cliff. He climbed down over the edge of the cliff, hanging onto a single vine. He couldn’t climb up, because the tiger was growling above him, and he couldn’t go down because he realized another tiger was growling beneath him. Then a mouse started to knaw on the branch he was hanging from. He looked over to see a sweet, juicy strawberry patch within reach. He picked the strawberry and enjoyed every bite.”
“Tigers above, tigers below. This is actually the predicament that we are always in, in terms of our birth and death. Each moment is just what it is. It might be the only moment of our life; it might be the only strawberry we’ll ever eat. We could get depressed about it, and/or we could finally appreciate it and delight in the preciousness of every single moment of our life.” — Pema Chodron
When Mike drove me back to DC after the Memorial, there was heavy rain and hail, but when we pulled up to Dee’s apartment, it immediately stopped and the sun came out. I kept looking for a rainbow, and when my cousin, Julia, arrived later that evening, she had seen one and sent me a photo, which I used to close the memorial video.