Mary White Ludgate departed this life peacefully at her home on March 4, 2020 in the arms of her close family. Mary is survived by her husband John Ludgate, children Steven White and Kristin White Vural, son-in-law Corey Vural, parents, three siblings and their spouses, nephews and nieces, and John’s sons and their partners.
Born on August 23, 1960, Mary Frances Walsh was the eldest child of Edmund and Doris Walsh. She and Ed, Ann, and Joe grew up in Calverton, Maryland. Mary attended High Point High School and is remembered by many friends for her enthusiasm for school and neighborhood activities such as student government, modern dance, and working at Carvel, where she no doubt began her love of ice cream.
Mary’s greatest achievements are her children, Steven and Kristin. They lived in Battery Park City, where she was known for being a friend to all and the host of legendary birthday parties and Easter egg hunts. Many deep friendships developed during the years her children attended Hunter. She later lived on Fulton Street where so many memories were made welcoming loved ones to Friendsgivings (the Wednesday night before each Thanksgiving) and many other gatherings.
Mary was the Founder and CEO of www.BnBFinder.com, a leading bed and breakfast (B&B) directory and the author of Running a Bed & Breakfast for Dummies. In 1998, she left her job as a securities broker and decided to embark on a new venture: Internet publishing. Her mission was to provide a no-nonsense website that would effectively place B&Bs and inns on a competitive level alongside large hotel chains and resorts. She offered a site that embraced the unique features that make B&Bs so special and provided guests all the information that they need to select the bed & breakfast of their choice. In 2013, Mary received the Award of Merit for long-term and significant contributions to the business of innkeeping. Mary made countless B&B friends across the country and would share her love of ice cream with each one, often organizing trips to Dairy Queen to get blizzards after a long day at an industry conference. Mary is regarded by the B&B industry for her strong vision, leadership, and perseverance.
Mary and her family traveled extensively (Italy was a favorite), but the family reunion in Duck, NC each summer brought some of her most cherished memories, especially as the family grew with marriages and the arrivals of her adorable nieces and nephews. Mary loved her family’s numerous traditions, including sunsets on Jockey’s Ridge with a stop at Dairy Queen, beach picnics, August birthday celebrations and long, long beach walks to the pier. A self-described “Pitbull Aunt”, Mary doted over her nieces and nephews and expressed her unconditional love as an Aunt to each of them.
Like anything or anyone Mary embraced, golf became another source of joy and way to cultivate deep friendships. When Mary met John, their mutual love of golf drew them together as they traveled near and far playing the game and eventually moving to Florida where they quickly made new friends. John and Mary faced her illness head-on while continuing to live each day to the fullest. They were married in December 2019 in Maryland in the presence of her closest family and friends.
When Mary was diagnosed with Glioblastoma in 2018, she impressed friends, family and health professionals with her positive attitude and optimism. No matter what setbacks Mary faced in her life, she summoned courage and fortitude. Her medical team at Columbia University treated her with groundbreaking procedures and clinical trials. Mary expressed tremendous gratitude for the care she received and remembered the names of every person who provided her care - whether a nurse, a doctor, or a technician. After one of her rounds of radiation treatment, she brought donuts from a local donut shop near Columbia for all of the radiation technicians to show her gratitude (and, she said, how much she would miss them). Mary was passionate about finding a cure for Glioblastoma and was thrilled to be the inspiration for a fundraiser known as “Mary’s Tribe Ride,” which raised over $40,000 for the cause. One of her last wishes was for her family and friends to continue finding ways to raise money to find a cure.
Mary’s radiant smile, infectious laugh, and boundless energy touched all who knew her. Mary made quick and lifelong friends anywhere she went - whether it was at New York Sports Club, where she had her close gym friends (including fellow members and teachers); her move to Florida with John, where she quickly became adored and embraced by many in her new community; or at Liberty National (her “happy place”), where she went from being reluctant to picking up a club to recruiting new female members to join her and her dear friend Martha to play with them.
Mary is remembered for her compassion and kindness to everyone. Throughout her life and especially throughout her battle with Glioblastoma, Mary found light and hope every day. She kept going to the gym, playing golf, eating ice cream, and loving people. In her final days, she took great care to let everyone know she had no regrets and the repeated words of her dearly departed friend Mark: “there was no room for anything but love in her heart.”
If you would like to make a donation, please click on this link and be sure to indicate it is In Honor of Mary White. While Mary’s research team at Columbia receives online donations quicker, you may also donate by check made payable to “The Trustees of Columbia University,” indicate IHO Mary White / Glioblastoma Research on the memo line, and mail to the following address:
Columbia University—Gift Systems
P.O. Box 1523
New York, NY 10008