Ralph Malcom Carney

EVENTS. 1

Celebration of Life

Jul 18, 2021, 1:00 PM US/Pacific

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- In Person
UPDATED: Hunter Hill Winery

7099 Glen Haven Road, Soquel, CA 95073, USA

Evite details here to RSVP

http://evite.me/qy5j4vY2zK

Thank you all for coming to come together and celebrate Ralph's Life. It was a beautiful day full of love, laughter and tears among an amazing group of people all touched by Ralph throughout their lives.

For those who couldn't attend in person or via zoom we did record the Speaking Service which is about an hour if anyone would like see.

Thank you all for helping to make it such as special day of healing.

RECORDED ZOOM

Topic: Ralph's Celebration of Life
Date: Jul 18, 2021 09:24 PM Pacific Time (US and Canada)

ZOOM RECORDING:
https://us02web.zoom.us/rec/share/6qAB3G_mFSJlZMndAy6YdBUxZ6hoeFv7t5J3ehBxn2RJWqNvbYmSULkG4xFYAeux.Q90qwJcmpEBx-MlR

Passcode: N0%E*1V3

Time has passed, restrictions have been lifted, and we have found a beautiful new place which reflects Ralph’s spirit — so now it’s time to come together and celebrate Ralph‘s life. Please let us know if you can come either in person or via zoom.

Order of Events

1:00 – 2:00

We will greet, gather and share stories. You can check out a slide show of fond memories over some light snacks and drinks while being serenaded by Kalae, a wonderful Hawaiian Musician.

2:00-3:00

We will come together formally to speak and share stories and tributes to Ralph and his amazing life.

3:00-3:45

We will reconvene and mingle to share our personal memories informally, and give comfort while sharing some laughs and tears over some beverages and what’s left of the light snacks.

3:45-4:00

We will say our goodbyes with virtual or live hugs and elbow bumps.

Please RSVP if you will be attending in person or via Zoom or if you are not able to attend. (Zoom details to be provided shortly)

We hope to see you there

Also please let us know if you would like to speak to share a tribute to Ralph in advance.

COVID NOTE: We expect most of the people attending in person will be vaccinated so Masks are not required as it’s predominately outside in a large spacious outdoor area with a small indoor area. So Masks are optional. We will have Zoom to watch and to speak if you aren’t yet comfortable for in person gatherings or can’t make it in person. The Zoom portion will also be recorded for those who cannot attend.

Giving

The memorial organizer requested donations in honor of Ralph Malcom Carney

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Corinne Koppel

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Ralph Malcom Carney

January 14, 1944 - December 13, 2020

Thank you all for coming to come together and celebrate Ralph's Life. It was a beautiful day full of love, laughter and tears among an amazing group of people all touched by Ralph throughout their lives. For those who couldn't attend in person or via zoom we did record the Speaking Service which is about... see more

OBITUARY

Ralph Malcom Carney, PhD January 14, 1944 to December 13, 2020 Resident of Santa Cruz for over 40 years Ralph spent his last week with some of the people he loved, listening to his favorite tunes, Hawaiian music, stories, and laughter. Throughout the week, as in his life, Ralph’s humor and interest in his friends and family was present. We were so thankful to have him with us. Ralph leaves behind his wife, Caroline Cooke Carney;... see more

Ralph Malcom Carney, PhD

January 14, 1944 to December 13, 2020

Resident of Santa Cruz for over 40 years

Ralph spent his last week with some of the people he loved, listening to his favorite tunes, Hawaiian music, stories, and laughter. Throughout the week, as in his life, Ralph’s humor and interest in his friends and family was present. We were so thankful to have him with us.

Ralph leaves behind his wife, Caroline Cooke Carney; his beloved granddaughter, Sloane Jean Birnbaum; his daughter, Corinne Koppel, his friend and Corinne’s partner, Greg Mahan; his friend and Sloane’s father, David Birnbaum; his sisters Sharon Balboa of Las Vegas, and Maureen Hruska of Florida; brother- and sister-in-law Bob and Sandy Cooke; his nephews, Sean (Jana), Brian (Peg), and Mathew Carney; his niece Dawn (Peter) Lansing, and many friends who loved him dearly. Ralph’s niece, Dawn Lansing, RN, traveled from South Bend, Indiana, to help us care for Ralph. Ralph was so happy to see her and marveled that she had come to be with him.

Ralph grew up in South Bend, Indiana, with three siblings. His parents were William Leonard and Bernice Alma Carney. His older brother, Bill, passed away December 13, 1973. Ralph attended Riley High School where he excelled at playing Cornet in the band. Upon graduation (1961), he immediately moved to Chicago. There he reveled in the music scene, attended college, and decided to enlist in the Army. He was a Viet Nam Era Army enlisted man and served in Germany in intelligence. Upon returning, he resumed his college career at De Paul University earning his B.A. with highest honors. Ralph attended graduate school at the University of Texas, Austin, and later moved to Santa Cruz to complete his Ph.D. in Personality and Social Psychology at UC Santa Cruz. There he met not only his wife, but also his mentor and friend, Theodore Sarbin, Ph.D., whom he worked with for many years at the Defense Personnel Security Research Center in Monterey as a research psychologist. His work focused on the policies, practices, and criteria for determining trustworthiness of people working national security jobs. With Dr. Sarbin, Ralph co-edited and contributed to two books: Citizen Espionage: Studies in Trust and Betrayal (1994), and Out in Force: Sexual Orientation and the Military (1996). Out in Force “refutes the notions that homosexuality is incompatible with military service and that gay personnel would undermine order and discipline...(in it) leading social science scholars of sexual orientation and the military offer reasoned and comprehensive discussions about military organizations, human sexuality, and attitudes toward individuals and groups.” Ralph was very proud of his participation in the research into this topic, and the support it gave to gay and lesbian people in and out of the military.

Once he retired, Ralph dedicated his life to following the recipes of Jacques Pepin, to the delight of his family and friends. He also started a quest to master Hawaiian Slack Key Guitar. With Caroline, he traveled to Europe, Peru, Africa, Hawaii, and Rome. He participated in Crossfit for many years with his coach and friend, Jim Baker. Ralph loved walking our dogs, Taj and JD (Jumping Dog), at the beach, and all around the Watsonville and Corralitos areas. He was also an avid birder, taking Birding classes through Watsonville Adult School. One of the first things he did after retiring was to volunteer at the Watsonville Wetlands. There he worked on educational displays, measured water quality, and assisted in nature walks with Middle and High School Students. After hearing of Ralph’s passing, the director of Wetlands Watch wrote: “I’ve been thinking of Ralph since we spoke and just have so many nice memories of his joyful spirit and kindness over the years of his volunteering and docenting at the Wetlands Watch. He was a passionate supporter of the wetlands and wildlife of the Pajaro Valley.” If you wish, a donation in Ralph’s memory may be made to the nonprofit Watsonville Wetland Watch at www.watsonvillewelandswatchorg

All who knew Ralph well would say he had 9,000 lives. In his early thirties, Ralph was diagnosed with Type 1 diabetes. He was considered by his doctors to be a model patient whose dedication to his health was noted in a medical publication, and used by his doctor as an example to his interns. As he ambled through life, Ralph fell off a roof, had a TIA, had not one but two pacemakers installed, was hit by a car, broke his elbow, endured eye surgeries, and valve replacements, all without complaint. He truly became the bionic man. In 2013, Ralph was diagnosed with non-Hodgkins Lymphoma and underwent chemotherapy. For about seven years he was in remission. In August, 2020 the Lymphoma came back in a more aggressive form. And for the first time, the doctors told us that treatment was not a possibility, and Ralph came home. We are thankful for the excellent and loving care he received at the Palo Alto and San Francisco Veterans Hospitals and Clinics through the years, as well as Dominican Hospital and his many dedicated doctors: Dr. Grunfeld, Dr Spence, Dr. Singh, Dr. Ling, Dr. Lay, Dr. Del Piero, Dr Sedgwich.

A celebration of Ralph’s life will take place July 18, 2021 (his wedding anniversary) from 1:00 - 3:00 at the Corralitos Women’s Club, 33 Browns Valley Road, Corralitos, CA 95076. We will have a video connection available for those who cannot attend in person. Please go to Ralph Malcom Carney - GatheringUs Online Memorial to RSVP and share any memories or photos of Ralph.

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Roxanne Andrews

December 4, 2021
Ben Roberts

June 7, 2021
Claire Rygg:

May 28, 2021

Ralph always had wonderful words and praises for his wife Caroline and daughter Corrine when we talked about our families. My husband and I were raising young kids during my time at the Defense Personnel Security Research Center and Ralph had an... more
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- Corinne Koppel Thank you, Claire. Ralph learned a lot being Corinne's step-dad. He also liked to quote Ted, "Children socialize their parents." This was so true for us. See you on July 18! Hugs, Caroline
  
  May 28, 2021
Corinne Koppel added 2 photo(s) to the memorial Ralph Malcom Carney:

May 23, 2021
Corinne Koppel added 2 photo(s) to the memorial Ralph Malcom Carney:

May 22, 2021
Corinne Koppel added 5 photo(s) to the memorial Ralph Malcom Carney:

May 21, 2021
Corinne Koppel added 5 photo(s) to the memorial Ralph Malcom Carney:

May 21, 2021
Corinne Koppel added 5 photo(s) to the memorial Ralph Malcom Carney:

May 21, 2021
Corinne Koppel:

May 16, 2021

Posted by Caroline Carney: This was written just after Ralph passed away.

January 14th 2021 Ralph would have turned 77. But on December 13, early Sunday morning, he passed away.
As many of you know, Ralph had been in remission from follicular... more

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